"Him"

    The Adversary. The Dark Lord. Father of Lies, He Who Is Called Satan, Great Beast That Is Called Dragon, Prince of the East, Lord of Spirits...He has many names. Further data is pointless, and indeed dangerous. There is some truth to the ancient superstition that He listens for His name, and comes when called.

They say you can judge a man by his enemies...and if the Board had time, they'd feel vaguely flattered. When they're not breaking out into a cold sweat at the very thought, jumping at shadows and paranoically stalking anyone who looks even remotely like the favoured vessels of this one. As Boardies regularly point out, there's nothing to inspire fervour like having mankind's ultimate bogeyman breathe down your neck - or worse, to watch Him breathe down someone else's neck and hope you'll maybe get His attention away from your friend or loved one with the one shot you might just possibly be about to get. Maybe.

Fortunately, general history and even a degree of psychological profiling has proven rather easy, given the wealth of material humanity has tossed out without really knowing it. Once one starts to take it seriously, patterns emerge from which a vaguely accurate picture forms. We hope. Maybe.

Too long ago for anyone even the Board can reach to remember, there was the Rebellion, when Lucifer and His angels refused to serve God's creation, Man. Some unimaginable time later, there was the Fall as the consequences of rebellion caught up with them, and then metaphysical battle was on for young and old. Lucifer was said to be the most beautiful of God's creations — to those who would look upon His beastly countenance, His eyes glaring with quiet amusement somehow more terrifying than the most insane cackle, this now seems absurd. His face is as a bull's, though with horns far larger, His body wrapped in a shroud of darkness - but then, His appearance hardly matters. The Father of Lies has this way of assuming disguises that's just shocking, really. There's a famous Shakespeare quote about it. But fear not! Faith and courage have so far held Him back. Maybe.

His designs murky, His power unrivaled, His hand in all...and His sense of humour is frankly disturbing. Satan rules Hell with an unwavering fist - and His eyes are on the Earth and its riches. Why, no-one knows...perhaps this is all a cosmic temper tantrum thrown against God by a spoiled brat, or maybe there's some form of overarching point to His designs we have yet to uncover. Whatever the reasoning, He is coming for the souls of mankind.

No one's quite sure what's stopping Him. The Board hope it's them and their patroness.

Maybe.