José Belt

Height: 5`11" (this week)
Age: Frequent temporal disruptions in his lab have long since made this question moot.
Formal Affiliations: M Divison, Weird Science Division
Informal Affiliations: Everyone who wants one of his gadgets.

Quote: "As every Einstein fan knows, space and time are warped by the slightest mass. Me too!"

    Saying "Someone's messing with things Man Was Not Meant To Know!" is, aboard the Funky Horror, roughly equivalent to walking into the middle of a canine predator convention and crying wolf. Of course they are, it's what Boardies do. Just...some of them get into it more than others.

Jose, with his trademark stained labcoat, thick strong-grip gloves, and constant, faint smell of acid (one of his earliest inventions in the chemistry labs was a one-use hair gel to keep his fur out of the way) is an itinerant old-school tinkerer at heart, refusing to specialise and instead dabbling at the cutting-edge in whatever discipline catches his fancy this week - sometimes he even dabbles at the cutting edge, and then the Board get such delights as the infamous Cheesegrater of Mass Destruction. An insatiable curiousity and hunger for abstract knowledge drive Jose ever-onward in search of the innermost secrets of a gratifyingly weird universe - and once he or his underlings have theorised something, he naturally has to immediately begin testing it in as many ways as possible, never mind the consequences. The only reason the Funky Horror's labs survive this is because he built them, too.

With dozens of bizarre discoveries to his credit, Jose is the kind of Boardie even mad scientists or crackpot mages can look up to. Especially when he's accidently reversed the gravity again, or testing a jetpack, or has just decided he likes being upside-down today. The Board, perhaps the only organisation on the planet willing to fund his flights of fancy and clean up after him, love his crazed creativity and tendency to tell the so-called laws of physics where to stick themselves. His star has steadily risen as more and more Boardies call upon the powers of Weird Science to battle the demonic hordes...and frankly, who cares about side-effects, so long as they happen to the target, not you?