Laundreu
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Quote: "FEAR MY ANGST OF STABBY POINTY DE...don't tell me that camera's still running..." Jeohim Laundreu's precise corporeal origins are unknown, but he first appeared as a vampire at the fall of Rome, and subsequently cut a bloody swathe across Europe during the Dark Ages with a team of equally bloodthirsty fellows in tow. After over a millennium of putting the fear of the dark into mortals, Laundreu appeared to become first bored, then finally outright revolted with the constant bloodshed, eventually defecting "while the going was good" and going renegade. Hell disapproved, and the hapless Laundreu was busted down to "damned soul" status, most of his friends killed or subjected to a similar fate. He managed to evade the "collection" party by the skin of his teeth and attempted a quick getaway by indulging in a spot of carjacking - in fact, he opened the door, shoved a dagger into the driver's chest, and expected fear and shock to empty the rest of the seats. He got a rude shock when the driver said "Ow. That bloody well hurt!", drew a very large trout from nowhere, and proceeded to kick him straight back out. The demonic collection squad's sudden cry of "It's Flax! Kill the traitor!" was the cue for a spectacularly silly brawl that was the real cause of the Great Munich Flan Disaster, no matter what the Men in Black told all witnesses later about it being a mere trifle. After digging him out of the ruins (and scraping off the custard) the Board offered Laundreu a job, a cure for the more rampant urges of his vampirism, and revenge - not necessarily in that order. Currently posted to the Funky Horror, High Command views Laundreu as an expert on dealing with the undead, and tap his expertise regularly whenever some idiot Dark Sorcerer decides to re-enact his favorite scenes from Hammer Horror films. The current escalation in Board activity has him run off his feet training newbies in the best ways to fight the blasted things, and he's really getting sick of doing informercials with titles like "Ten Handy Tips For Stake Insertion". Mostly because Flax can never resist pointing out the double entendres. |
Height: 5'10"